2005-02-14 - 9:38 a.m.

Ode to Huntington (or note to self...)

see reference... at least he didn't say "AN historic event" (did someone ask for a list of pet peeves?)

By this time next year
I'll have landed a juicy part
Nineteen fifty will be my start
No more carrying spears
I'll be discovered
my life won't ever be the same.
Billy Wilder will know my name
And he'll call all the time
--('Til he does, can one of you guys lend her a dime?)

Just an apartment
with no roaches and no dry rot
Where the hot water comes out hot
That's my Hollywood dream
My resolution
Is to write something that gets shot
With approximately the plot
I first had in my head
-- (But you'll get rewritten even after you're dead.)

Behold, my children, it is I, Cecil B. DeMille,
Meeting me must be quite a thrill,
But there's no need to kneel
I guarantee you
every girl in my chorus line
Is a genuine Philistine
They don't come off the shelf
-- (I flew every one in from Philistia myself)

By this time next year
I will get my foot in the door
Next year I know I'm gonna score
an amazing success
Cut to the moment
when they open the envelope
Pass the statuette to Bob Hope
and it's my name you hear
We'll be down on our knees
outside Grauman's chinese
Palm prints there on the street
immortality's neat!
This time next year, this time next year.
We'll have nothing to fear
contracts all signed
Three-picture deal
yellow brick road career
Hope we're not still saying these things this time
next year.
--A.L. Webber, Sunset Blvd.

(WHO are you calling a showtune queen?!?)