~ kusala
[ ku-sa-la: Pali term meaning wholesome, skillful, good, meritorious. ]
[ Action characterized by this quality (kusala-kamma) is bound to result (eventually) in happiness and a favorable outcome. ]
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kusala.diaryland.com

2005-07-05 - 10:18 a.m.

What Independence Means to Me

Yes, you're meant to be reminded of a tacky Knights of Columbus essay contest in which you won honorable mention in sixth grade... The truth is, I couldn't write such an essay now, because -- as those in the know have pointed out -- my ilk and I hate freedom.
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Anyway, had an ok weekend:

Friday evening: Brown Pelican drinks with the La Leche League, then CPK with Jodi.

Saturday: Farmers' Market (find of the week: sage cheddar) with Danya, baby Kailani, and Belinda. After coffee, went citrus-tree shopping (hers, not mine) with Jodi -- picked up some New Guinea impatiens and a window box for myself. Then, an afternoon of whipping up a batch of tortilla soup (epazote, chipotle, and all) and black beans. Had Jodi over to help eat it.

Sunday: Upon waking decided to go for it and try the pćo de queijo recipe (that cassava in the cupboard is just sitting there, after all). Took a batch down the hill to Jodi for breakfast #2 (and I wonder why I'm gaining weight). Have no recollection of what I did that afternoon. Watched "The Cherry Orchard," with Charlotte Rampling, that night (not a must-see).

Monday: Woke after 11:00 (dillar, dollar). Had a sage cheddar omelet (keep racking up those calories) and tried that new "Sudoku" puzzle in the LA Times. Ended up at Gaviota beach (via errands at KMart) by late afternoon for a much-needed walk (note to self: MORE physical activity, please!). Ended up at home by 6:00, made a marinade for Thai pork Ba Mee Moo Dang (Tuesday's dinner). Spoke to Jodi briefly as she was sitting down to her "dinner for one"; felt the welling up of self-pity and anger since I had nothing to do for the "holiday evening." Walked (alone, as if that were in question) to the Mission Rose Garden to watch the fireworks. Felt lonely, miserable, and cranky (always a good combination), but decided (more or less) to get over it and enjoy the brisk uphill walk back home.

I guess this is shaping up to be the Summer of the Exotic Ingredient, and hopefully will not devolve into the Summer of the Deep Ennui.

Bob is back from Pearblossom tonight, so it should be nice to spend some time together before he heads off next Monday to San Miguel for a month. I hope I won't be bored to the point of "distraction" (or dumb old habits) in his absence.

For now.... work beckons.
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Confidential to Al Borde de un Ataque de Nervios in San Francisco: I sincerely sympathize. A dose or two of Wellbutrin or Effexor might not hurt once in awhile. I'm often at a loss for the proper solution.


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